some thoughts on comparison

When I went to the General Women's Broadcast a couple weeks ago, this line of Sister Bonnie L. Oscarson's talk smacked me in the face. "When we compare ourselves to one another, we will always feel inadequate or resentful of others." Always. 

I have to admit that I compare myself to someone... pretty much every single day. It's a serious battle I have with myself! This person has that, someone else has my dream job (or is just living their dream), how does that girl get to go on 500 vacations a year & not me? Without fail I either feel a. inadequate, or b. resentful. I swear I don't even mean to feel like this.  Either way, comparison can spin me into a sour mood of jealousy real quick.

This just needs to stop! I honestly drive myself crazy sometimes.

 Lately, in the last six months or so, I've developed a little thought process every time I catch myself comparing/being jealous.

I ask myself these questions:

Why does this photo/blog post/person make me have jerk/"less than" feelings?

Why do I feel jealous?

Nine times out of ten (or ten out of ten), it's my own problem! Usually when I feel jealous of someone, it's not because I want to do what they're doing, but because I truly feel I should be doing something more creative with my time. I love that world, but with my job schedule right now it's exhausting to even think about by the time I get home. I want to chase my own dreams! But I haven't done a lot of that. I project my own feelings onto some picture on Instagram (just an example). Which is not the poster's problem! I am not one of those mean commenters FYI. Sometimes I'm just scrolling & I see a photo of something/someone & I feel a pang of jealousy/envy & I have to stop. "NO! What that person is doing has nothing to do with you. You're feeling that way because you know you could/should be doing something different!" I don't want to give the implication that I hate everyone on Instagram that's having a good time, or being successful. I truly am so happy for all of my friends that are having success in their passions & dreams. It's about my own feelings about MY own life that can bring the happiness level down.

It's completely okay, & I think healthy, to consider the feelings you're having. Not just brushing them off like "I know I shouldn't be mad or jealous or compare myself to others, so I won't". That only solves the problem in that instance. You have to realize why you're having the feelings. What's going on with you that is making you feel this way? And what can you do to change that? 

Once I've identified my own issues I can figure out what I need to change in my life in order to be happier. Obviously it's a work in progress. But it's better & the feelings are mostly fleeting. If anything it's a good reminder of what I want to accomplish with my time.


My goals on the subject could probably be summed up in the quote above. I just need to stop thinking about myself all the time :).



>>>image via (this quote is from the same talk I mentioned. A good read!)

04.26.14

>>>>Saturday<<<<

 (what is ironing?)

Today was the quintessential Saturday for me. I woke up without an alarm, did all my house chores(including laundry), watched Call the Midwife & finally started & finished a sewing project. I bought this fabric about a year ago from Hobby Lobby... It's super bright & I super love it. I want to find some navy velvet pillows to balance them out. Or maybe some fluffy gray ones like this? The options are limitless!

In the afternoon I went out on the town to find my sweet Mother-in-law Voneene a birthday present. I went to four stores, back and forth once or twice, but I think she was happy with her gift, so I'll put it on the board as a W. While there I got myself a little present, the sweetest pair of gold loafers you've ever seen. So make that a very large W.

JC & I went to Brigham City that night to celebrate his mom's birthday. I taught my 11 year old niece how to play the card game Speed & now that's all she wants to do with me. I don't mind one bit because when I learned how to play it, I was the exact same way. I love having nieces, they really make the family world go round! I want my brothers to have kids! Almost as much as my mom wants me to have kids!

building relationships: writing letters

via

When I was in 4th grade, my second cousin & I decided to become pen pals. We lived less than an hour away from each other, and it wouldn't have been hard to pick up the phone & just chat. But there was something about getting out my Lisa Frank stationary & writing a letter to Jessica telling her all about my life - which consisted of being in love with Kyle R.(I always wrote the R.), playing in the backyard, & listening to Kenny Rogers. Jessica taught me about "real" music, AKA Mariah Carey. She told me about all the drama at her school; she was in 5th grade, so obviously there was a lot to tell. I can't remember much about what was said in the letters, honestly. But I do remember how ecstatic I would be when a hand written letter came to my mailbox, just for me! We were able to just write, no parents telling us to say "thank you" for the gift, no teacher grading us on our grammar. We had a special bond, my pen pal cousin & me!

I miss writing like that. I've been thinking about sending letters to my grandma, just asking about her life stories & experiences. I'm the type of person that thinks ahead, imagining how amazing it will be to have my grandma's handwritten letters with all of her stories to cherish & pass down. Right? That would be so cool!  Maybe she'd be down with being my new pen pal?

Officially Lame (?)

Sorry I don't want to go to Coachella, guys.
I mean, some of my favorite bands are there, it's sunny & concerts are awesome.

But I do not want to stand outside for three days getting swass & swoobs and I just imagine being all dusty, the air smelling like B.O. & beer, & being smashed & pushed around by thousands of people clamoring to get to the next stage. Sweaty people rubbing up against other sweaty people trying to see their favorite artist. I'm sorry! It just doesn't sound fun to me.

haha this post makes me sound like a twerp.


**all images via google**

04.21.14

Tonight JC & I went to Park City. I really wanted to eat at El Chubasco (their Mexican food is G-O-O-D) & JC needed to drop his bike off in Heber for some cool suspension thing. I don't even know. He texted me earlier and our conversation was like:

"Hey huyyun can I get the suspension done on my bike? I have a hook up."
"I don't even know what that means."
"I can get suspension like the pros but at cost!"
"Oh, that sounds sick bro! Do it."
"ha ha you're funny."

Anyway we had a grand old time. On the way home we were listening to a sweet playlist on Spotify, & just holding hands like the old married couple that we are. These are the moments I really want to remember, when I'm so happy to be doing the simplest things with JC. It's cheesy but I'm grateful for it every day!

Ps. we spell hun like huyyun-it's kind of a joke & it probably is not funny to anybody else.